2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
