After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
