she looked like the before picture.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
