I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
