OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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