Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
