Got a toothbrush?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
