oh god the rape fog is back!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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