from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
