You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
