omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
