I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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