Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize