the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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