So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
