toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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