Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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