I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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