Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
