haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
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