Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
