Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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