how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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