Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
two words: eviction party
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
