you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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