If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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