your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
