im drinking this country out of the recession.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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