sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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