dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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