you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
