i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
