Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'

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(419): View more from Ohio

doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Then she called me a home wrecking whore.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup

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(815): View more from Illinois

Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.

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(650): View more from California

I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.

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(530): View more from California

tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.

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(904): View more from Florida

Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home

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