thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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