i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
