In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Randomize
