making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
