Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
