hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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