I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
