I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
