Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
