champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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