smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
