it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize