you would pick up someone in the library
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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