my mouth tastes like poor choices
I feel great
I just peed on a car
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
