My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
