Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
