it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
