who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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