I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
