covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
