she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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