Where are you?
In a non slutty way
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
