Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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