He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize