if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
