Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just found a bag of teeth...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
