I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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