That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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