So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
