i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
