So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
