I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
