Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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