"it" just moved
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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