Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Reggie can tackle my bush.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
