is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
