Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
