lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
